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When it comes to death, grief, and memorials in the age of social media, I couldn’t help but wonder…Should I post to grid??? I’m back from my 5-day trip to the US––specifically for my dad’s funeral––and am amused-alarmed-adjacent to say: I’m homesick.

Topics covered this month: Homesickness, funerals, hydrangeas, Love Island

I thought about trying to write an entire newsletter (which can frankly be anywhere from ~30-3,000 words, so…"entire” has range) without invoking my dad. But it turns out I quite literally have nothing to say that doesn’t somehow lead back to him.

My dad’s funeral was on the penultimate day of my recent trip home, and I wondered if I would feel any sort of shift after the fact. And the somewhat delusional answer is, not really, because I still feel, in my core, like my dad is alive. I also understand that I cannot call him or drop by his house, that is no longer his house. But deep down, I feel like the reason I haven’t seen him in so long is because he’s simply been busy. Or he’s on a trip. He’s enjoying retirement. He’ll call me back. It’s very comforting, and so I leave it.

Even Though I Feel He’s Still Alive

….here is the obituary I wrote for my dad.

Bob Long, born February 9, 1944, passed away peacefully in his Sylvan Beach home on Friday the 13th of October.

Bob was gifted. An optimistic, charismatic talent in baking, dancing, skateboarding, friend-making, and parenting. He invited you to join the party. Being around him promised delight: impromptu karaoke, tap dancing to jukebox records, beach bonfires, philosophical dialogue, novelty toys, and the most delicious cake you’ve ever tried made in his toaster oven. He encouraged livening things up. He demonstrated how easy it is to simply enjoy yourself, and how by doing so, you multiply joy for the people you love.

Baking was an art form that drew people to him. His flair for fun in any taskβ€”from dishwashing to dough rollingβ€”made his bakery a once-in-a-lifetime oasis for community. His namesake Bob’s Burgers (whole wheat croissant dough, sundried tomato, cheese, olives, topped with pumpkin seeds); cinnamon rolls (with raisins, orange zest icing); fruit danishes (cherry, blueberry, apple); and maple bars (classic, delicious) brought people together for over 20 years at Bob’s Bakery.

His positive outlook was steady and genuine. He wanted his people to feel deeply cared for. His yellow beach house held space for Bob’s friends and friends of friends. He welcomed spontaneous drop-ins from his grandchildren. He hosted Super Bowl parties, raucous holiday dinners, and birthdays. He enjoyed solitude on the sun deck. He watched and named the birds and always knew the tides. His only child entered the world in this home, and Bob would later leave it from the same light-filled room, perched above the sound.

Once you start cataloging Bob’s extraordinary qualitiesβ€”impossible, infiniteβ€”you feel the immensity of his loss. He is tenderly, profoundly missed. But his buoyancy, his humility, and his limitless capacity to see the bright side and share that warmth with you are carried forward by those who knew him in tribute to a well-loved life.

In Popular Culture*

*extremely inaccurate title of what has devolved into a list of things I’ve encountered and have opinions on.

Ok, fair warning this is about to be my most chaotic round-up to date.

Two widely-beloved, bestselling books written over 30 years apart that I just got to and adored:
The Things They Carried (1990)
Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow (2022)

Love Island US (2024) overtaking Love Island UK (2024) ; in my life priorities and seemingly the world at large. (guys, I hate Rob)

Blue hydrangeas (timeless) that my dad’s neighbor stealthily cut from his yard, which now belongs to someone else, to bring to his memorial.

The Big Night Soundtrack (1996)

A flight-lengthed amount (9.5 hours) of Yellowstone (2018). Is this show propaganda?! Because it worked on me. I’m not sure what that means or what it sold me exactly, but it’s increased my desire to live in rural Montana more than ever before (full transparency, low bar).

The idea that playfulness is one of the most important qualities to have and rare to maintain as you age, and one that my dad both possessed naturally and shared with everyone. (1944-2023)

Rewatching Hanna (2011) and remembering that the Chemical Brothers-written soundtrack still bangs.

Adding maple syrup to coffee (always)

5 Reasons I Feel Homesick

Top 3 Reasons I Miss My Friend Julia Right Now:

  • She has wise, kind, and productive advice about anything. When I was debating whether or not I wanted to speak at my dad’s memorial, the main thing stopping me was that I didn’t know what I wanted to say. Julia asked me, β€œDo you want to speak directly to your dad or everyone else?” Once I answered that question, I knew exactly what to say.

  • Her ability to make a cafe-level iced latte. And then being able to drink it with her.

  • Running my outfits by her in real time, in real life.

Next time (and what is time….really…?) I plan on trying to write about something––could be anything. It could be close to nothing. I’ll stop myself there!!! I don’t want to give too much away 🀫
 

Thank you for reading xoxo

Piet Gijzenbrugstraat
Amsterdam 1059XE
Netherlands

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